Raise your hand if you like sex. Raise your hand if you like sleep. Me too, me too! Let’s chat a little about the connection and some simple tips to help your body feel rested and get your bedroom set up so you can celebrate Valentine’s Day with bang (pun intended)!
Sleep is the key to a healthy sex drive.
The first thing you need to understand is that we need to prioritize sleep to have a healthy sex drive. When you are sleep deprived your testosterone levels will plummet, which is a crucial component for libido in both men and women.
Sex is a great way to help us sleep.
When we have sex our bodies are flooded with a delicious combination of hormones and neurochemicals. Here is a quick glimpse at the hormone roster and what happens.
Oxytocin is released which makes us feel starry eyed and connected to our partners.
Dopamine is released which is our pleasure hormone and a learning chemical that takes note of how to get more of that pleasure.
Prolactin is released, which makes us feel relaxed and sleepy.
Estrogen levels increase in women, which enhances REM sleep.
Cortisol, the stress hormone, is lowered.
There is a plethora of other neurochemical shenanigans going on, but I will want to keep this short and simple…. More sex will help you sleep, and more sleep will help your sex drive!
Tips for creating a bedroom that promotes sex and sleep!
My biggest tip here is to keep this space for sex and sleep only so your brain does not associate a million other activities with the environment, making it harder to focus on the steamy or calm tasks at hand. It’s important to create a sexy, sacred space where you want to be. You don’t have to go all 50 Shades of Grey, maybe just 25. Let’s start with these considerations:
Clear the clutter. There is nothing sexy or Zen about random piles of books or laundry. Make sure every item in your room sparks joy and everything has a place.
Clean your room. This is a no brainer, but sometimes life gets busy and we over look the dust bunnies under our beds. Wash linens, wipe down the walls, vacuum or sweep under your bed.
Decor: I strongly recommend that the only photos in the bedroom are of you and your partner… Or if you’re single, find some sexy artwork. No one wants to get it on with old photos of their family or friends in the room. Your décor should spark calm, sleepy, or sexy vibes. If you have children, don’t feel guilty about not having picture of them in your room. They can consume the rest of the house, but this is YOUR space.
Color: Feng Shui basics typically recommend warm earth and skin tone colors for the bedroom, but I personally love bold colors that make me feel sexy. So add the colors to your space that make you feel lustful by adding throw pillows, blankets, or artwork.
Mood Lighting: Candles or salt lamps are a great way to add some sexy mood lighting during sexy time. But when it’s time to sleep, I want you to focus on TOTAL DARKNESS. Darkness: Our bodies need total darkness to get quality sleep. Even the slightest light can trigger a wake up so black out curtains are a must. I’d also suggest a sound machine with a brown noise setting.
Temperature: Our bodies naturally decrease in temperature when we sleep, so keeping the temp around 65-69 degrees for sleep is ideal. If it is warmer add a fan to help circulate the air. We have a natural dip in our core temperature around 4 am so have an extra, blanket to cover up with if needed. Colder temps will naturally encourage cuddling = skin to skin = do see where I’m going with this?
Now that you have your space set up, let’s talk general sleep tips.
Make sure that you are aiming for 7-9 hours of sleep to ensure that your body has time to replenish.
Avoid screens 1-2 hours before bed so your natural melatonin levels are not suppressed. If you are on your screens at night, then invest in some blue light blocking glasses.
Try to eat your last meal 2-3 hours prior to bed so your digestive system is not working overtime and your blood sugar levels are not skewed.
Take a bath with Epson salt before bed to help you relax. The weightless pressure of the water is a fantastic form of proprioceptive input that helps calm the central nervous system. The Epson salt will help with inflammation. Your body temperature will also rise in the tub and then start to cool a little more drastically after you are out. This is a great way to facilitate the natural decrease in core temp that we need to sleep.
Do 5-10 minutes of body work. You can include your partner by doing some shoulder rubs or do self-massage with a foam roller / tennis ball. I’d also encourage you to rub the bottoms of your feet right before bed and then put socks on. This helps you tap into the meridian lines of the body and can help increase circulation.
I hope these tips have inspired you to add more sex and sleep into your life. Good luck and go have fun!
If are struggling with your sleep consider booking a free call to find out how I can help.
